Fun for the Whole Family!

And you thought the hair-raising joviality of Russkaya ruletka was reserved soley to Soviet conscripts and the clincally depressed...

Boy, were you ever wrong!

Introducing

Kaba Kick!

"The Non-lethal Pastime Alternative"

Instill fun, fear, and the importance of odds in your kiddies with the worlds
first simulated suicide plaything.

How could you not absolutely love this shit to death?
No pun intended...that was kinda cruel.

All joking aside though,
I'm gettin me one off eBay!

No really,

Seriously.

Here's fine words from Pope George Carlin I (and last)

on the aforementioned subject matter.

"In case you haven't heard,

the latest disaster for the rest of the universe

is that the United States is gonna go to Mars.

Okay? Ah, yeah. We're gonna go to Mars.

And then of course we're gonna colonize deep space.

With our microwave hot dogs and plastic vomit,

fake dog shit and cinnamon dental floss,

lemon-scented toilet paper and sneakers with lights in the heels.

And all these other impressive things we've done down here.

But let me ask you this: what are we gonna tell the intergalactic council of ministers

the first time one of our teenage mothers

throws their newborn baby into a dumpster?

How are we gonna explain that to the space people?

How are we gonna let them know that our ambassador

was only late for the meeting because his breakfast was cold

and he had to spend half an hour punching his wife around the kitchen?

And what are they gonna think when they find out, its just a local custom,

that over 80 million women in the Third world

have had their clitorises forcibly removed

in order to reduce their sexual pleasure so they won't cheat on their husbands?

Can't you just sense how eager the rest of the universe is for us to show up?"

– George Carlin, Complaints and Grievances