WORD PORN!

Word Up! Fellow logophiles,

get your forks and knives and grubby fingers ready for squishy fun!

Dinner's served!

Mammiformis- Shaped like a breast

This one's just begging to be exercised in your next bibulous chair-tipsy 4-martini tirade or I'll be a proto-human primates illegitimate uncle;

and actually, while we're on the subject of inebriants I've got a another fantastic articulation for you guaranteed to perplex, flummox, perturb

or just plain start some violent shit at the local gin mill.

Betterave- A drunkards nose, a nose with "grog blossoms" or a "copper nose,"

such is possessed by an "admiral of the red."

-Albert Barrere's Argot and Slang Dictionary, 1911

as in

"Hey you boozy scallywag! Your humongous betterave's clogging up the dance floor and poking me in the earlobe."

Unpicturesque- Without beauty or charm. Unattractive, beastly, mishappen or disfigured.
as in

"Your lady friend is unpicturesque, she looks like Michael Berryman

with a spray-on tan and pumps."

This next one's sure to make a guest appearance in my bawdy penny dreadful erotic novella "Henry Longfellow's Long Fellow's Sexy Sticky Sweater-Puppy Hunt."

Cadulix- Male genital organ

Pulvillus- A small cushion or pillow. In surgery, a small olive-shaped mass of lint used for plugging deep wounds; diminutive of pulvinus, or cushion.

-Sydenham Society's Lexicon of Medicine and Allied Sciences, 1897

as in

"Wolfgang Easy packed his yawping abysm with a dewy cerulean pulvillus and in doing so demonstrated the profound relationship shared between those who indulge a strict

vegan macrobiotic diet with those who engage in jocose hammer-murder type sociopathy."

Autochthon- An aboriginal inhabitant. One of the indigenous animals or plants in the region.

One of the earliest known inhabitants of a place.

-Origins: 1646, "one sprung from the soil he inhabits" (pl. autochthones),

from Gk. autokhthon, from auto- "self" + khthon "land" (see chthonic).

And last but certainly not least, a word introduced to me by my darling Nee.

Pif- A type of high grade marijuana that is identifiable by its distinct smell and excellent quality.
Pif can also be used as an ad lib, verb, sound effect, expletive etc.
Examples include "Dude, what the piff happened to my piffing ear-buds!? Stop touching my piff with your greasy goddamn vienna sausage fingers."
" That Inuit industrial lubricant salesman over there, piffed your ladyboy girlfriend in the ass!"
" Fo Sho! I piffed from dusk till dawn yo and it was piffing awesome!"

A Capilary Hint of Red

Mark these words,

one day this chalk outline will circle this city!

Was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face?!

A room colored charlatan, hid in a safe.

Stalk the ground, stalk the ground...

-The Mars Volta (from Televators)

XENOPLEIAD
(The Lambsbread)
-For Dylan Donnelly-

XENOLITH
Skandha tissues crawling surrounding shallow veins
Expedient pinpoint needle tracks all tattoos are redeemed.

XENOPHILISTINE
A heigh-ho in trachoma’s,
the stroma of drunken pardons---shrunken head‘s jest “cheerio”
For all the wet-rat dapper bon vivants!

And the euphony is sulky symphonies of Neptune’s tuned timorous by DMTequila coxcomb’s crackerjack bounty of gee-tar calluses Spartan in Martian bivouacs taxed to cardiac arrest by a bovine plague of Volta plaques.

They could have gouged my look-alike van dyke of grease penciled 3rd Reich lip spikes for hunger strikes in sebaceous buckskins or burglarized my cretin indiscretions with serrated triceratops paraphernalia’s but they chose you.

There were automotive pileups, Neanderthals buried in pollen shrouds,
Doktora of data havens and the herons of heroin Ontario probity humanized by the
teeth-whitening waves of seed grenades.

XENOPALASTINE
Long live in the hemistich a mustached buffalo of psychonauts luddite mystique!
A seven string assassin of speed-trap courtiers
In this duchy of polyps catalytic for Dutch masters faint.
Your Sonoma coma short-lived their Durban poison lambs bread..

“I’ve got a whole lot of nigrified raiment’s in this Walpurgis wardrobe ” he thought
“Don’t even need to wear no vicarage antlers!”
And I’ll goose-chase and goose-step like a startled solar calf into the tires of 2002 Toyota in a no fault state.

XENON (LESSER)
No ‘callabo shit’ for you or I comrade and the vestments sunkissed you…
And the teething ménage unite for one trite night once a queer
year to eat the prescribed meal of auto-glass and 9-W anemone.

And I eat from her hand maggoty trick-or-treat torrones and dimples rear in a one-room cellar of negroid Passovers as the smoke clears.



XENOPHILADINE
How real the way the tow-truck turns tricks and hurtles stomachs and mutters with rag doll physics.

Church body primary! Zero growth society!
Useless eaters nocebo! State sponsored placebo!

Eaten by the sky! Beaten by the kind!
Final greetings, stoning heathens,
Maintained inane by the droll amen’s of ecstasy technicians, made my amends again but they’ll never claim your name again.

XENOPLASTICINE
And she stopped with all the diaries,
And closed the dust-plugs on the cap of her skull,
Because a journal unread by outsiders is a journal best left unwritten.

XENON (PROPER)
And she said “I’ll lift a burnished mosque of tone-deaf pedestrians with my mock-claws and hoax laws or was it jaws in the ambiguity of tendril tidelands viewed in their particle nature.

A young lass named Jesus astir with rivière bugs below gaga skins amorets and bayonets, tripped-up/pimped-out malcontents are slavery personified in SNCC chemistry.

And mankind and kind blah blah blah…
And I held you in jade,
And I held you in jade.