All Indians, No Chiefs

Some time ago,
I took the opportunity to snivel and bitch as I sometimes do
about the disturbing nature

of "chicken pox parties" in my I Object panel.

I said something to the effect of
"I know the vaccines contain neurotoxic aluminum,

but there's something inherently sinister

about intentionally exposing your children to infectious diseases."

Currently I stand firmly by my annotations;

And must assert that if a

quasi-intelligent compulsion of light and sound

responsible for our very existence resides

somewhere in the ever-expanding universe,

I can thoroughly appreciate its vexatious,

vicarious nature and decidedly obsidian sense of humor.

Having said that,
put down the kiseru and take a quick gander at these choice cuts,

let out a snide little chuckle of superiority and rest easy knowing

that the hairless monkeys are at it once more with one of their "great idea's."

http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/01/swine-flu-parties/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8125191.stm

Sounds like some first rate fun!

Swine Flu Parties!

We've come a long way, and this is where its seems we've ended up.
In a panic fueled by fear-tactics,

deliberately contaminating each other with variegated pathogens,

viruses and infectious agents in the middle of a pandemic mind you.

You can see the elegance if you close your eyes;
Assorted blue-blood beautiful peoples rubbing their emaciated elbows as they quaff

triple sec-heavy cosmo's, crudites, tongue kiss and cough down each others throats.

Boy,

what a beautiful blue world it is to live upon!

In a Skiving Nox of Alligators...

FORMAL EDUCATION?

LOOK MA, FULLY-AUTOMATIC!

I'm not sure of the context or where these photographs originated,

but they sure do raise some interesting questions don't they?

I haven't wrote anything on the eggy-web in a while;

It's times like these I'm relieved that blogs

do not die like Tamagotchi's from negligence and malnutrition.

However,

I'm quite excited to announce that

A new book of poetry is in its final stages of development,

I don't want to say too much just yet,

but this one's sure to blow some whistles,

bark up trees, and groove with a shameless fools funky mojo.

Martians Rejoice!

So The Mars Volta's new eight track LP
is due out on the 23rd of this month!

I’ve been a huge fan of this band since their first EP Tremulant,
and their new album does not disappoint!

I can happily declare that the leak hasn't left my CD player for three weeks!

Octahedron is the Mars Volta's 5th studio release,
a follow-up to the chaotic psychadelia of last years The Bedlam in Goliath.

The band stated early on that this venture would be much mellower in tone.
The compositions are shorter, purer, less experimental,
and favor delicate songcraft to swirling jazz fusion horns
and ten minute plus jam segments.
A temporary departure from their avant-garde prog roots.

Octahedron creeps, shrieks, meddles and grooves
and could easily be classified as this bands Wish You Were Here.

The CD and vinyl are up for preorder!
at
http://www.themarsvolta.com/

Come inside the shows about to start!
Guaranteed to blow your head apart!

You can also check out the music video to their new single Cotopaxi
at
http://www2.kerrang.com/2009/06/exclusive_watch_the_mars_volta.html

The End of Cinema

So I made the horrible
blunder of reading "The Upcoming Films of 2009, 2010 and beyond" on wikipedia
and can declare with depressing faith that
I have very little to look forward to in terms of the cinema.

It seems as though, with the exception of the independent film movement,
there’s not a single original thought left.

The creative juices have run completely dry in terms of the
scripts, their writers, the directors and the like.

Endless remakes, cliché "reimaginings", and a slew of unnecessary sequels
is what’s in store for us meat-with-eyes in the foreseeable future
and evidently from now on.

They're making an A-Team movie,
a live action adaptation of Johnny Quest with Dwayne Johnson (the rock),
and a remake of Red Dawn.

Another film about Bonnie and Clyde only guess who's playing Bonnie,
that’s right...Hillary Duff!
Isn't that bitchin?

They're doing Piranha in 3-D this time around
since the 1978 original,
its sequel and the 1995 remake were all such landmark films.

Get ready for another Men in Black,
Ironman 2,
Spiderman 4,
two more Pirates of the Caribbean films,
three more Harry Potter installments,
and four more sequels to The Chronicles of Narnia.

The kiddies are getting another Shrek, Cars 2, Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom, Happy Feet 2, and dare I say it one last Toy Story.

They're making a live action The Jetsons

(anybody remember how great The Flintstones was?)
as well as and I kid you not, The Smurfs Movie.

Does anyone on gods grey earth, like the smurfs?
Do we really need actors running around
with tight white pants and blue oil paint and shit everywhere?
Seriously.

Brace yourself,
because Conan the Barbarian
(which is a reimagining of a film and its sequel based on a comic book mind you)
Dune and Tron are all getting facelifts.

They're remaking Romero's The Crazies (nothings sacred!)

And yes A Nightmare on Elm Street is getting a "reboot" minus Robert Englund
which frankly is like masturbation without the payoff.

We can expect
The Strangers 2,
Sex in the City 2,
The Hobbit (a prequel to The Lord of the Rings films)
and a currently untitled sequel to The Hobbit on big screen quite soon.

This is not a joke. My humor isn't that black.

I was particularly disturbed by the following few...

In 2011 a live-action rendition of
Stretch Armstrong rated R is scheduled for release.

You remember Stretch Armstrong,
the gel-filled action figurine from 1974,
yeah he's going to Hollywood and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it!
Rated R though? Kinda makes you wonder who the hell their target audience is?

We get to watch someone in Peter Weller's role get blown the fuck apart by shotguns once more in 2010's Robocop.

Which supposedly will be directed by Darren Aronofsky which makes me weep for I really enjoyed Pi and Requiem for a Dream.

Lastly,
and I'm sure by now you'd have gathered
that Beverly Hills Cop IV and Rambo V were also on the way.

Ready to get off at Willoughby?
Don’t worry, no one will blame you.